Years of Tears

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A very old poem/song that I wrote years ago and I’m posting today for Throw back Thursday. It’s unfinished and unpolished but still hits the spot.

Years of tears

People don’t know our secret

Your story never told
Years pass and you never get older
Your faceless features never age with time

Hole in Heart/Raw edges

Watch the minutes move,
For you time doesn’t tick

Story to never be told
Your faceless features never get old.

Fresh wound that will never fade.

The person that I always wanted to be
Requires you and me.

Being strong for no one other than me.

I can love you from far away
You’re only a thought away from me.
Count to ten, twice, making sure I was right.

Stepping stones into and invisible ground
Looking where you can not be found.

Talking to Him. More conversations at night
Knowing I wasn’t ready to give up the fight.
Hoping and praying that I wasn’t right.

He wanted you more than I.
Gave up the fight, cursing at the light

Jagged edges, raw and torn.
Heart forever damaged

More to me than my entire life give for you
I gladly would
To hold your hand so you can stand where you stood

Sing lullaby and kiss you goodnight.
Knowing you’re happier with Him.

Precious moments of only minutes long.
Never realizing you would ever be gone.

No one ever to take your place, this I guarantee
You were my heart and soul, a piece you can’t replace.

This is so much harder than it seems
You never escape my dreams

In this world it was just going to be
Just you and me

Smile one more time.
Crying ain’t a crime

Moments lost, not a medicine around to cure my cough.

More than just a memory, you’re me.
Ageing faceless
You’re me…

But I can’t stop from crying
As cliché as it seems
You’re me.. one, two, three.

That night saying goodbye.
There was never more pain than then.
But I will take the blame. Never knowing your name.

If it rained when I cried,
The world would never be dry

The best things in life are free,
But you only cost me, me.

Let the world fall down around me, I’d give it all.

Watch me fall
Serenade of silence surrounds me.

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2 responses »

  1. Wow. This poem totally hit home.

    Smile one more time.
    Crying ain’t a crime

    Moments lost, not a medicine around to cure my cough.

    Basically sums up how I feel. When I miscarried, my mom cried with me for a brief 10 minutes, told me to let it all out and then buck up cause I have my whole life ahead of me and miscarriages are so common. I wonder how someone would feel if we said the same thing to them about the loss of say their born child.

    I hate how women that miscarry are expected to just move on, to pretend that they were never pregnant, continue on with their lives as if nothing significant just took place.

    Praying for you. Noticed today is a due date for you. Sending good vibes your way.

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