Baby withdrawls

Things that have happened since losing the baby:

-No more sore boobs

-No more sore stomach from Heparin

-No more progesterone=dry sore vagina

-No more shiny curly hair

-No more long, strong nails

-The urge to drink, smoke and eat sushi until I’m sick. (Self medicate)

-The overwhelming urge to cry at any given moment.

-Panic attacks. Feeling like I’m having a heart attack every five minutes. (Hypochondria)


-Being asked at least six times, “So, is your husband going to leave you since you can’t have a baby?”

-The inability to relax. The thought of trying to relax stresses me out.

-The inability to believe that I just went through this. Again.

-Overwhelming sadness. It’s untouchable.

-Wanting to make lists for everything. (OCD)

-No more talk of the future baby. Everything has been put away. It’s like it never happened.
The next step:

We’re seeing a specialist in Chicago in June. It’s a last ditch effort. We’re going to have the septum resection surgery one more time. Now when/if I get pregnant again, I will be over 35 when I deliver. We have decided to try one more time and then we’re done. Physically and mentally, I can’t handle another miscarriage. I’ve got one last hooray in me, and that’s it.

Published by Brandi

I'm interested in self-help, chakras, essential oils (DoTerra) and just trying to help people in anyway I can. This was initially a weight loss blog and turned into an adventure about my infertility, miscarriages and my rainbow baby. We took quite the detour, but now is the time to focus on my health. I love talking about shame and trauma and I'd love to help you work on your best self. Please email me with questions or DM on IG. IG: Youhaveaprettyface_ Twinbody: Youhaveaprettyface

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