It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. The last miscarriage kinda took it out of me.
Since the last miscarriage I see rainbows everywhere. On walls and in the sky. I see one and know that it’s there just for me. The one that prompted the title of this post, “Rainbow Colored Glasses,” came on our two year wedding anniversary. We were heading home from our date and through my sunglasses I could see a beautiful rainbow in the clouds. I took my sunglasses off to get a better view, and I couldn’t see the rainbow without my sunglasses on. I kept putting them on and taking them off, and realized that I could only see them through the glasses… And they’re not special glasses 🙂 All the other rainbows I see without the sunglasses–I don’t want to make it sound like this is a magical thing. I try to always get photos of the rainbows and eventually I plan on posting a blog with the photos. On particularly rough days, I know that I’ll be seeing a rainbow… and I always do.
I’m reading all of your blogs… Thinking of you and praying for you. Every day is a “struggle.” I’m on a new anxiety medicine and I’m trying to keep my feelings and emotions in check. My hypochondria is constantly being tested.
After much discussion, we’re going to do the uterine septum surgery one more time, which will be the beginning of August. I was skeptical about going through that again, but in the end, I want to be able to say that I did everything I possibly could. If the surgery is set for the beginning of August, we won’t be able to start trying again until November or December. So, one more surgery, one more pregnancy, one more time. Then we’ll probably look into adoption or other alternatives if that doesn’t work.
Soo…. that’s it for now. Hopefully I’ll start posting a little more regularly again. We’ll see. Until then, take care!